I had a good talk with another engineer this afternoon. It opened my eyes to understand how much extra pressure we senior engineers put on ourselves and the level at which we expect ourselves to perform. This pressure drives us through burnout, and we don't feel like we can share that pressure with anyone because, after all, we're just doing a job. That's a dangerous mindset. I was talking to him about the difference between FE and SE work and the expectations that we have for those roles. It made me think about what I want my role to be. Maybe I've been fighting for the wrong thing. Not that I want to be an FE, but I've been trying to be an FE in an SE role. That's not right. If my job is to be an SE, then I should do the things that SEs do. If my job is to be an FE, then I should do the things that FEs do. But I've been trying to be both, and that's causing me to feel like I'm failing at both. The conversation also made me realize that I haven't been taking time to produce. I've been so focused on serving that I haven't created anything of my own in a long time. No blog posts, no articles, no podcasts. I've just been consuming and reacting. That's not sustainable for my soul. I need to get back to producing. How do I balance serving at Enable with producing for myself? That's the million-dollar question. Maybe the answer is to dedicate time each week to creation, and protect that time fiercely. That's what I'm going to try.